embracing new curves


these last couple of months i have been trying really hard to accept myself where i am at right now, and stop being so critical. it is so easy to pick yourself apart (i would do it subconsciously almost all day long at one point!), and way harder to be kind to yourself and build yourself up. i’ll admit, it was (and still is) a really hard habit to break, but worth it. i found that the constant self critique, dieting, and being unhappy with myself became exhausting - i just couldn’t do it anymore! so for awhile i kind of just gave up and didn’t really think of myself at all, for better or for worse. that helped me stop the negative self-talk, but i also forgot to take care of myself. i started eating whatever i wanted, not focusing on any sort of nutritional value. i stopped “forcing” myself to exercise. i was in an awkward in-between of caring way too much, and not caring at all. 

once i had a break from the years of self induced negativity i began to really explore concepts of self-care, positive affirmations, and looked for role models who were body positive. i say really, because i had tried these things before but it all went over my head. this time around though, a lot of it stuck with me and i was determined not to get back to where i was. i always remind myself of how exhausting the whole process of worrying about what i looked like and being mean to myself was like and it encourages me to keep moving forward.

so now instead of telling myself i look awful in everything i wear, i try to look at things i like, and ignore the things i’m not as happy with. i’m learning that where i’m at right now is great, and i shouldn’t be ashamed of that. i’m learning that it’s okay to shop at plus size clothing stores, and that it doesn’t make me any less of a person. i’m learning that there’s a difference between dieting and making healthy food choices to take care of your body. i’m learning that exercise does not need to be torturous. 

it’s all a work in progress, and there is so much that i am learning. this is very much the beginning of a long process, and i am by no means an expert when it comes to this. but i think it is so, so important to learn to except yourself and stop comparing yourself to a vision of what you have to be like, or to others and i really don’t think enough people are talking about it. so this is the beginning of a series. i hope you guys can find it helpful :)

xo, liz

* photo taken by kimberly

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